Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fun Stuff to Walk On

I've long believed that major sports championship rings are the male equivalent to wedding rings for women. Seriously, when a guy walks into a room wearing one of these:you can be sure he'll have a circle of guys asking questions about when it happened and how he got it.

While I was testing for a police job in Vegas a couple weeks ago another guy obsession became clear to me.

As we finished our vertical jumps and made our way to football field to wait for the mile and a half of running to begin we seemingly all at once realized that we were standing on the finest, most advanced outdoor playing field modern man has produced, Field Turf.

It didn't take guys long to begin dragging their feet to watch the trademark bits of rubber fly up behind their feet. Guys 10 or 15 years past their high school football careers started running half speed versions of the patterns they last ran on regular grass. We pretty much all agreed it was the coolest surface any of us had ever walked on.

In case you don’t know Field Turf uses a base of ground up rubber and sand along with fake blades of grass to almost perfectly replicate the feel and bounce of natural grass, but more cushiony and consistent. I’ve walked on old school AstroTurf at Tropicana Field in Tampa and thought it was almost inhumane that athletes had to play on such a crappy surface. Now, after seeing Field Turf up close I think I want to order some for my yard when I finally buy a house.

Well, That's Not Encouraging

Since I did my last post the Magic just lost game 1 to Philly after being up by 18.  I'm still not abandoning my pick though.  Hopefully this will serve as a wake up call...hopefully.

Playoff Time

The basketball gods shined down on me again this year with great seasons by both the Celtics and Magic as well as multiple opportunities to watch the Magic with free tickets.  D-Wade even got back on track, having a season that should have gotten way more MVP consideration than it did.  Perhaps it's time to reinvigorate the Committee to Give D-Wade the Love He Deserves?

With the playoffs beginning yesterday I feel I should put my few post season thoughts down for posterity and future reference for mocking purposes.  

1:  Hate to say it, but I'll be having to make the basketball equivalent of Sophie's Choice for the first time since 1995 when Boston will likely take on the Magic.  Unlike in 1995 this time I'll be making a definative choice of which team to root for; the Magic.  It's not because of any lack of love for the Celtics, it's just that with KG out for the rest of the playoffs I think the Magic are the only one of my 2 favorite teams that has a chance to reach their full potential.

2:  Much like 1995 the Magic will be surprising many by how far they get in the post season, unlike 1995 the Magic will get the job completely done.  That's right, I just picked the Magic to go all the way.  Call me crazy and maybe I'm just really hoping to be in town when the Magic go all the way, but I like how this team has played against any of the potential challengers they'll face.  Hopefully in about a month or two I'll be buying the Official Locker Room Magic Championship T-shirt.  

3:  Why did the NBA wait until I moved back to Orlando before offering an online version of NBA League Pass? Can't win them all I guess.  

Saturday, February 28, 2009

That was Timely, Unlike this Post

Conversation I had on the morning of February 16th while at work:
(Leading up to this there was general banter about pets)
Co-Worker: What I really miss having is a chimp.
Me: You had a chimp as a pet? I always wanted that as a kid how was it?
C0-Worker: Yeah, I had one when I was growing up in Venezuela. It was great man, they're so cool.
Me: What about keeping them up, do they make a big mess?
C0-Worker: Nah, not really. Just so long as you keep them in a diaper it's really easy. Otherwise they might start throwing their crap or something.

News article I see on the afternoon of February 16th:
Chimp Attacks Woman in Stamford

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Airport Paging and In Flight Energy Drinks

I’m in Phoenix on the way from Orlando to Las Vegas and enjoying one of the simple joys of travel, the airport paging system. Until today my favorite airport paging moment was one morning in Orlando when somebody slipped through about 3 fake pages for famous person soundalikes. The only one I remember was Kurian George (Curious George) being constantly paged.

Today the Phoenix airport topped, or at least tied that. First I noticed that the paging voice sounded exactly like Stephen Hawking, so that put me in a good mood right out of the gate. Then, in the middle of its usual short boring announcements the voice of Stephen Hawking unleashed this epic page on the airport.

“Dennis, please call Peter at (---) ***-**** He want to make sure that there will be someone to meet you in Yuma. He understands that you have to go to Terminal 4 to catch that flight.”

I’m still not 100% sure what made it as funny as it is to me, but even the airport employees were laughing at it.

Besides that, I was also surprised by the drink choice of the middle aged Gator fan couple seated next to me on my 5 hour flight to Phoenix. They ordered Monster Energy Drinks. Seriously? Is that really the best thing to drink at the beginning of a completely full 5 hour flight? Exactly what did they think they’d need the extra energy for? Furthermore, who knew that Southwest even served those?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

The Internet's Birthday Gift to Me

My absolute favorite genre of comedy is the newscaster blooper. Today while surfing the web a bit this gem that was new to me popped up.
This guy's tone and language are changed rather quickly when a bug flies into his mouth.
Is it wrong of me to enjoy newspeople failing so much? Maybe, but either way, enjoy the video.