Saturday, December 31, 2005

40-3 Peach Bowl Loss, 4 Simple Steps to Fix UM's Problems

I’ll start out with the warning that this will be a long rant, so be prepared. As you guys have surely seen the Canes lost 40-3 to LSU last night. Now yes this bothers me, however what bothers me more is erosion of the UM mystique that has occurred under Larry Coker. After the game there was a fight that left 2 Hurricanes unconscious after being hit by a swinging helmet (this story was on, not the sports site but the NEWS site CNN.Com, so we looked pathetic to the whole world including non-sports fans). This is not the UM that we have all come to know and love. A real UM team wins the game and the fight after, even in a down year we at least win the post game fight. So in this post I’ll outline the problem and what’s got to be done to reestablish the UM mystique that is so sorely lacking.

You might be wondering “what about all the work that the University has done to improve the team’s image and distance itself from that mystique?” Well sure, that has paid off in some respects. UM has an incredibly high graduation rate by any standard and it’s especially high when one considers the graduation rates of other schools that are football powerhouses like UM. Also off the field incidents by Hurricanes are among the lowest in the nation, this is especially clear when compared to other Florida schools that have no shortage of incidents at any given time. All of this is wonderful stuff, but unfortunately it really doesn’t matter because the rest of the country wants to hold on to the idea of the UM bad boy teams of the 80’s and early 90’s. Every time there’s even a small problem it is magnified and people moan and groan about the “thugs” down in Coral Gables (yes, those “thugs” mentioned above with an 80% graduation rate1 and very few off the field issues). Why does this happen? It’s simple, people watch the Hurricanes because they either love us or they hate us, even now that our program is as clean as any other in the nation. The Hurricanes are a cash cow to the networks who can promote a classic Good v. Evil match up in any game we’re in by keeping us the villains.

Case in point was the rap song that got leaked out earlier this season. Three years ago a few guys on the team got together and made a (horrible) rap that was as disrespectful to women as just about any other rap song playing in a club on South Beach. The song got out and suddenly people were outraged at the misogynistic UM players (which could be true) but the media and fans paid much less attention to the fact that our opponent that week had a player who was ordered by a judge to play despite facing felony drug charges . A bad rap song or felony drug charges, which program is out of control?

One more short example is our recruiting Willie Williams, a player who had some problems with the law. Sure, he had problems but once again this was treated as though we had just signed Charles Manson to play middle linebacker. In reality it was the first time in over a decade that we had signed a player with such a troubled past and Williams is a guy who got good grades and test scores (for a world class athlete). So of course we give one special case guy a chance and we’re back to being thugs in the eyes of the majority of fans and the media.

Now, what do we do about this you ask? I say play into it. Turn to the dark side. Turn heel (in wrestling terminology). Let’s face it, UM will only be seen as thugs from now until eternity so if we tap into that image maybe the players can acquire some of the swagger that led to a 56 game home winning streak and 4 of the school’s 5 National Titles. I’m not saying that we encourage players to commit crimes or that the school have a financial benefits program like it did in the past, but there are some simple steps to take that will reinforce the image that will always be the face of UM football.

1. Give Sebastian back his cob pipe.
In the 90’s UM thought a smoking mascot sent the wrong message, I think it’s time that the school reconsider. Nothing says dominance like a school who’s mascot may or may not be smoking an illegal substance.

2. Let Luther Campbell back on the sideline.
In the late 80’s and early 90’s rap star and First Amendment pioneer Luther Campbell roamed free on the UM sideline and funded the afore mentioned financial aid program by paying players $100 per sack and $200 for an INT returned for a touchdown. I say put him back on the sidelines as a decoy and police him to ensure no money is changing hands. Think about it, if you played quarterback for the other team wouldn’t you feel less comfortable having to wonder if the Cane’s D-line saw you as a money tree waiting to be picked?

3. Let Trick Daddy on the sineline.
In the 80’s and 90’s we only had one rap star on our sideline, now we can have two. Miami rapper Trick Daddy is such a Canes diehard that he even goes to the Women’s basketball games. I think loyalty like that should be rewarded. It would also allow Luther to eventually pass the torch to the next generation of UM rap star sideline mascots.

4. Get involvement from more former hurricanes.
Former Canes and Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin is a regular around the team, but we need more like him. Luckily our options are nearly endless. I have a short list of former Canes with which I’d start a mentoring program with all incoming freshmen. For starters I’d enlist “Warren Sapp, Ray Lewis, Cortez Kennedy and the Rock, who in '92 chased the San Diego State mascot into the stands, screaming, "I'll kill you," back when he was a defensive lineman who went by the name Dwayne Johnson.“2

These suggestions are just a start, but I think they’re a start in the right direction. There are times in life when a person, or a school’s football team as the case may be, must look at themselves honestly and see what it is that they truly are. No matter what UM does it will always be the villain to most of America, so I say we start playing and acting like it.
Works Cited

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Here's a lawsuit to follow DDP v. Jay-Z

Former professional wrester Diamond Dallas Page is suing rap superstar Jay-Z over his use of the hand sign shown in the pictures above. This lawsuit has everything I need to be interested, rap, intellectual property issues that don't involve scientific patents, wrestling, commerce, you name it this case has it.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Finally D-Wade Gets Some of the Love He Deserves

Some of you know that back in Dwayne Wade's rookie year I started the Committee to Give Dwayne Wade the Love He Deserves. I did this because I felt his talent was being overlooked by people fighting their way to worship at the feet of (the CLEARLY INFERIOR) Carmelo Anthony and (the equivalent) Lebron James. Now it looks like the the Committee has reached a major milestone as Dwayne's jersey is now the #1 selling NBA jersey. However our mission is not complete as D-Wade is not yet the leading vote getter in All-Star balloting. Do your part and click here to vote for D-Wade for the All-Star Game.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Rocky VI

Rocky 6 is now in production, apparently on this site the crew will talk about the film as they film it.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Happy Al Samons Birthday.

Continuing the birthday onslaught today we have a celebration of particular importance today because it is the birthday of my very own father Alvis Samons. Most of you reading this already know of the numerous reasons why I (and you) love this man like we do, so an extended biography is not really needed. So, Happy Birthday to the dachshund caretaking, entrepreneuring, car fixing, intelligent, and funny legend who happens to be my father.
(sorry if you don’t like the picture, it’s the only one of you on my hard drive)

Friday, December 09, 2005

Happy Kurt Angle's Birthday

Today we continue our December birthday-paloza with my favorite wrestler (tied for 1st with two other guys) Kurt Angle. A little history for those who aren't familiar with Kurt:
1. He's very proud of being from my current place of residence Pittsburgh, PA.
2. He won the 1996 Olympic Gold Medal in wrestling…with a broken neck*.
3. On his website he's politicing to serve as the next Chairman on the Presidents Council on Physical Fitness.
4. Like myself he is bald.
5. Like myself he is prone to exhibit kitschy patriotic tendencies.
6. His character, like myself, preaches the importance of “the 3 I’s” which are Intensity, Intelligence, and Integrity.
7. For more Check out his Wikipedia biography.
*The injury was officialy two fractured cervical vertebrae in his neck

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Happy Larry Bird's Birthday.

December contains the birthday's of many important people in my life. Today I will kick off the near month long celebration by wishing all of you and especially Larry a happy Larry Bird's Birthday. (And also take a couple moments out of the celebration of Larry to remember Pearl Harbor too).

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The real part of fake wrestling.

While the matches in wrestling are scripted and fake the WWE website has one of the most real and touching tributes I’ve seen in a while. Here's the Eddie Guerrero Biography with video tributes from his co-workers and friends.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Still not going to jail, but I will be buying wine

This has been a good couple of months for Larry Bird news. Now, in addition to being honored by convicts the Legend has decided to start his own line of wines. I think that those of you who read this blog can take that as a hint for Christmas time. Read the story below for the details on Larry's latest business venture.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Valencia Pride!

Looks like the Brain Bowl powerhouse that is my alma mater is finally getting the credit it deserves. However they apparently can’t answer sports questions now which is shameful. As a remedy to this I pledge to start the “Adam Samons Valencia Brain Bowl Sports-Trash Player Scholarship” as soon as I make enough money.
Read the story here:,0,3743988.story?coll=orl-living-headlines

Friday, October 21, 2005

No, I’m not going to jail

I realize that when many of you guys heard about this story
you had to be worried that I had been sentenced to do some time. Well, fortunately for me I’m still free to choose the manner in which I want to honor Larry Legend. Speaking of honoring Larry be sure to pick up this weeks Sports Illustrated with him on the cover.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Chia Garfield!

For those of you who might be wondering “How does Adam handle living alone? He doesn’t even have an animal or anything, he must be lonely.” Well, the answer is that I’m not lonely, but I do have some companionship…I present to you CHIA GARFIELD

Thursday, October 13, 2005

These boots were made for walking

So today I went to my favorite thrift store and what did I find? A great pair of cowboy boots. Now I’ve never owned a pair of these, but for the low low price of $9.95 I couldn’t pass them up. Sure the tops of them are a little rough, but my pants will be over that part and the visible part of the boots looked great. So I put them on right after leaving the store and continued to wear them until I got home around 7:30. Now that’s one of the great little pleasures in life, getting back home wearing different shoes than you left in that morning.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

My professor looks like Alton Brown

This morning I was idly chatting with my professor about the Johnny Cash movie coming out in November when I remembered something my friend Sharon told me…this professor looks like Alton Brown, star of food network’s Good Eats. Here are the pictures, judge for yourself.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

More evidence that law school reading is fun!

In this case, plaintiff-appellants received notice of the offeror’s revocation of the counteroffer in the afternoon of August 5, when Byer saw Normile and told him, “You snooze, you lose; the property has been sold.”

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The American Dream!!!

In what could only be called some form of cosmic fate or destiny Amy and I, two people who truly know the meaning of "Hard Times," are pictured above with the man who defined that term back in the 80's "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. It was truly a special evening as I was able to tell all others to “Ride off to another planet, because I have reserved the stratosphere for Dusty, Amy, and Me.” This is the first image from the "Adam Samons World Tour" mentioned in my first post, while there are more pictures to come from that momentous tour I doubt any can eclipse the glory that is this image.
P.S. if you don’t catch any of the wrestling references in this post purchase The Greatest Wrestling Stars of the Eighties DVD or The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The best $3 I ever spent

As a newcomer to Pittsburgh I've been exploring and getting lost quite a bit. I don’t particularly mind this, in fact sometimes it even provides me with a great story. Such was the case last night.

I spent the early evening in a futile attempt to meet up with Danny and Laura (hey, at least I got her name right in the blog posting). After we came to the realization that we wouldn’t be able to figure out where each other were I set out to get back home from downtown. Luckily for me I knew quite well how to do this as I’d done it 3 times before. I went to a bus stop that a bus driver had dropped me at after I had asked him "which stop will get me back to Oakland?" on my second night in town. This bus stop had always been shady to say the least, but buses to Oakland stopped there (even though the sign at the stop didn’t say these busses would) so I could put up with it.

Despite my good track record with this stop things weren't going as planed last night. The busses that usually stopped for me just kept passing on by, and after an hour I started to get suspicious. I figured I’d give it at least 30 more minutes because I was having fun watching an obviously mentally disturbed man gesture vigorously at ever car that passed by. While enjoying this spectacle I would have an encounter that would impart some very important knowledge to me.

This encounter began as a woman asked for some money, because she had only $2, enough for her bus fair, but not her friends. At first I informed her all I had was a five, so I couldn’t help. Undeterred, the woman continued to beg adding that “we really need the bus fair, we just got out of prison.” I found this interesting, but I simply reiterated that all I had was a five, seeming as though I wasn’t completely convinced of her colorful story. The lady then upped the ante one last time, reaching into her purse and pulling out her jail identification bracelet that included a picture of her mug shot and personal information. After seeing this I figured I’d rather have these ex-cons on a bus heading away from me rather than standing at the bus stop with me so I told them I’d give them my $5 in exchange for their $2, and I’d let them figure out how to break the five on their own.

As they walked across the street to get change at a Subway I started watching the mentally disturbed guy again. And then I noticed something interesting…he was wearing a bracelet like that woman had on…he just got out of jail. Then I started noticing the wrists of the other 35-40 people at the stop, about half of them had these bracelets, “Oh my God I’m at the jail release bus stop” I though to myself. Suddenly all of the peculiarities of this stop started to make sense, no wonder there seemed to be a never ending supply of downtrodden people getting on busses headed to “the wrong side of town.” No wonder every bus driver that had picked me up had a look on their face that appeared to say “I’m doing you a favor man.” After these realizations I decided to use my last $2 to get the largest water I could find at 7-11 and think of a way to get home.

Luckily for me after getting out of the 7-11 I saw a security guard at a bus stop on the other side of the street. He told me of a better spot about 2 and a half blocks away. As soon as I arrived at this stop there was a 71A Negley bus waiting to drop me directly in front of the friendly confines of my apartment. Yes, all this time I’ve been spending with prisoners I could have been at home had I only known of this stop a mere 2 and a half blocks away. In the final analysis of the night I did give away $3, but I gained the knowledge that I was at the jail house bus station and got a great story out of it, all in all I’d say that for $3 it was a bargain.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Props to Andre

I just got done watching Andre Agassi come back to beat James Blake at the U.S. Open. In a time when most of the athletes I grew up watching have started to retire or just get to old to be useful it's great to watch Andre still playing at such a high level. Andre is especially close to my heart since we were both sporting the mullet back in the late 80s (as seen in the picture to the left) and then made the smooth and sexy transition to baldness. In many ways he is my follicle soul mate. So to you I say Bravo Andre, Bravo.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Sick and about to fall asleep at the library for the second time

I was about to doze off into the makeshift pillow of my criminal law book when I read this..."Just imagine what would happen if lawyers were to refuse, for instance, to represent persons whom they thought to be guilty...The private judgment of individual lawyers would in effect be substituted for the public, institutional judgment of the judge and jury. The amorality of lawyers helps to guarantee that every criminal defendant will have his or her day in court."
I think that I'll put a version of that last sentence on my business card.
Adam Samons
"My amorality helps guarantee your day in court"

Monday, July 18, 2005

Pictures from the first trip to Pittsburgh

Here are some pictures from my trip to Pittsburgh to look for an apartment.
The view of Pittsburgh from Mount Washington. Me at the top of the incline with the Pittsburgh skyline behind me
The Cathedral of Learning...42 stories of academia.A picture from the 36th floor of the Cathedral showing Oakland and Pittsburgh
This is just a cool looking building across the street from the Law School Building.
Oh yeah, I also found a one bedroom apartment less than a mile from the Law School.

Adam Samons Summer World Tour 2005

Since I am going to Pittsburgh for Law School many people have been wondering when I will be moving and when they can see me. To more effectively handle this situation I present to you
the Adam Samons World Tour Schedule:
  • Today-August 4th: Adam Rocks Orlando from his Mom and Dad's house. [Dates still available]
  • August 5th-August 7th: Adam will be in Canton Ohio (Along with Angelina and Jonathan) and making appearances at various NFL Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies.
  • August 8th: Adam (W/Angelina and Jonathan) sets the streets of Pittsburgh on fire and also appears at the WWE RAW taping at the Mellon Arena that evening.
  • August 9th-17th: Adam plays return dates in Orlando along with encore performances in Miami with Angelina (Miami dates likely to include Amy, Jim, or both).
  • August 18th: Adam returns to Pittsburgh to start the "Adam Pitt Law Tour"